Release the Mongrel Mexican Gray Wolves
In a recent article by… the author suggests shipping some Alaskan wolves to California to help reduce the beaver problem in Martinez California.
Martinez, Calif., has a wildlife problem: Too many beavers, and nobody wants them killed. Well, almost nobody.
Alaska has a wildlife problem: Too many wolves, and nobody wants them killed. Well, almost nobody.
Is it possible these two problems could be brought together in one easy, perfectly natural solution?
Wolves love beavers.
OK, they don’t actually “love'’ beavers; they love to eat beavers.
And that could be a good thing in this case. Think of it as the perfectly natural way to deal with what the San Francisco Chronicle headlined as the “fate of popular beavers and their damned dam.'’
Bringing the wolves and the beavers together certainly has to beat the alternatives.
“The beaver dam, built right on a recently completed flood improvement project, has grown from three to six feet in height since last winter, putting the town in serious jeopardy of being inundated during winter rains,'’ the Chronicle’s Peter Fimrite reported earlier this month.
For a city to end up flooded by its own flood improvement project would not only be costly, it would be embarrassing. So Martinez has resolved something needs to be done.
“The (city) staff report, made public Friday, says the city should remove the dam and ‘humanely depredate the beavers,’ ‘’ Fimrite wrote. (read the full story)
I must praise this author for not only thinking environmentally but thinking about what is best for California. I grant Craig Medred my Wolf Award for excellence.
The author is right, after all after culling the beavers to only the strong (or that whole population of beavers as happened to snowshoe hair on Ellesmere Island) the wolves will set out on other prey no doubt culling a few radical environmentalists from the human herd. But no doubt the wolves will improve the breed of beavers so only the best live.
This author is on to a great idea that all the Californians that support the wolf program and dysfunctional hybrid Mexican gray wolf program with their donations, get to have a few wolves in their yards too. I think New Mexicans can improve on the Alaskan solution.
Your Alaskan wolves are not ready for the urban environment like our habituated Mexican gray wolves. Why because our half breed cage raised Mexican Mongrel Gray Wolves are much tamer and already have been hanging around human communites into an art form. They are even up on some of their shots…well not rabies but who is counting (those vaccines are bad right?).
So often the Mexican gray wolves even visit our yards leaving our dead and maimed pets or other little presents in our yards. I have heard at the Academy Awards the celebrities love getting gifts. So I am sure they would enjoy the presents that the mongrel Mexican Gray Wolves would leave them.
California celebrities would also be glad to hear about our new thinner elk and how they got there with a type of wasp waist. Might even be the new diet craze called Chronic Wasting Disease which is present now in our elk herds (spred by wolves and other predators) but those poking out hip bones look really sexy.
The habituated Mexican Gray Wolf will no doubt settle into the Martinez and other urban communities of Contra Costa County like they have here in our counties in New Mexico. These wolves are constantly around our homes so no doubt they will be much happier in an urban environment than the northern wolf.
These hybrid wolves also know how to den near homes so California kids will be able to share in the joys of watching the pups grown and slaughter their pets and livestock as is common here in New Mexico. No need to watch the biased wolf documentaries on National Geographic. Reduction of TV time for children another great benefit to these wolves.
Our wolves here are already well acquainted to the use of gunfire, rubber bullets and other hazing techniques so California will no doubt be a safe haven for them. Heck they can just hang out with the gang bangers and do a little tagging like they already do around our homes here. (I could link up the pictures of wolf poop on our porches but I will spare you)
Our wolves here are so tame they are even stalking (oops I mean following) school children home from school. While our Governor (and presidential candidate) Bill Richardson thinks it is wonderful and throws is support to wolf awareness week, I cannot wait to see what they will do in California. Maybe they will create a wolf holiday for the stalking wolf or change their state flag to the wolf.
Here the wolves also have not faired so well having to cross 100s of miles to find communities to use in gathering their food. In California with a much denser population, the mongrel Mexican Gray wolves should have an easier time in finding pets and other food to eat.
I am sure unlike people in New Mexico that understand fully that wolves stalking and encircling children is a prey testing for future attacks, in California they will think the wolves were just curious and wanted to be taken home and cuddled (the wolves were just misunderstood).
One family here has had a pack constantly eating their pets and livestock and has visited them over 27 times in 30 days. No doubt in California they will be charging admission. Then instead of Defenders of Wildlife posters of wolves looking cute on their walls they can see real wolves in action killing their pets. Then we can blame them for letting their pet out for a few seconds to go pee outside instead of on their livingroom rug. Here in New Mexico the blame game is all to popular by goverment officals.
Of course what would California be without lawyer suing when the wolves get aggressive and do what wolves historically do and environmental groups suing to protect the wolves, along with someone else suing to protect the beaver’s property rights to their dam.
With the expansion of the Wolf reintroduction boundaries of the Mexican Gray Wolf program…wolves will soon disperse to California so it is only a matter of time. Lets help them out and send them a few wolves now. I mean no disrespect but I am also not sure your Alaskan wolves can match the spiked up genetics of our Mexican gray wolves.
Donations for private plane transportation now being accepted. After all you cannot expect these expensive ($300,000+ tax dollers per wolf) wolves to fly coach. They must fly Al Gore style.
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